Onos!! Buzzy Speaker Repair for a Sonos

So, Chef is whinging that the kitchen sound system has started to woof or buzz at everyone when you turn the volume up higher than a whisper and you’ve already told him its because he’s old and was born with analogue ears. Bandage your thumbs back on because you can still fix it.

This is possibly the most dangerous repair job to attempt as you’ve gotta convince the pissed off avatar of the kitchen gods to put the damn tech down and get back to cooking/.Cheffing. I mean, you don’t see me in the server room raging at a rack mount soufflé or virtualised Caesar Salad with no gluten. Let’s each stick to what we’re best at. Once this is done though. you can remove the batter speaker grill and either chuck it in the deep frier or get the dishpig to work cleaning it while you inspect the damage.

Seriously dudes!? When the war with the machines starts, Skynet is gonna prosecute you for crimes against technology. I mean what even is that stuff and how did it get in past the speaker grill like that? Never mind. The bit we’re looking for is a split around the outer rim of the speaker.

You can easily see it in the above picture and it’s the flapping around of the rubber and vibrating against various parts of the speaker that creates the woofing or buzzing sound as you turn the volume up. That high pitch whinging sound can be ignored as it’s just the new apprentice complaining that the ovens are burning his fingers.

Shoe Glue (pictured above) is great for this as it dries like rubber allowing the speaker to preserve flexibility and thus sound quality after being repaired. I however have a tube of pre-dried Shoe Glue which is great for fucking nothing and have to throw it out now and resort to a little ghetto engineering. A little super glue and….

…tissue paper. Cut some small strips of kleenex or whatever and lay them over the split and glue them down. The tissue paper bridges any gaps of missing speaker rubber and gives it a fibre which enhances the durability of any gluing which is under repetitive strain as the speaker is vibrating. If you haven’t deep fried he speaker grill, you can now reattach it and voila!

If you did opt the deep fry the speaker grill, now is a good time to pull that out of the frier and season with aromatic herbs. If you managed to get all the splits covered, when you fire it up now and turn it up the woofing should be gone and replaced by the new bartender complaining about your song choice from beyond the heat lamps.